Most Popular Golf Betting Games and Side Bets

Clubhouse Games: 34 Frustrations

The more I play Clubhouse Games the more annoyed I get over how phoned-in it is. It looks great but I’d rather have worse graphics if it meant better gameplay.
I have about 80 hours in the game so far. I’ve played everything at least a few times: online and not, with friends or strangers. At a certain point, the novelty of the game wears off and your left with something incredibly subpar. Nothing about this game really feels broken but nothing feels incredibly polished either (except for the graphics but they’ve even managed to mess those up). I know I’m about to list off a bunch of minor annoyances but I don’t think expecting a first party Nintendo game to feel like it’s worth $40 is too much to ask.
I am interested in people’s opinions so I’ll try to keep things organized.
Clubhouse Games
  1. There are no global options whatsoever, and individual game options need to be set and reset often. You can’t change the volume for sound effects or music, you can’t turn the announcer off. It’d be nice to be able to disable intros, set all games to the hardest difficulty, or set favorites. Things like that wouldn’t be all that difficult to put in and would only make the experience better for everybody.
Single System
  1. Why does the game start with the worst possible UI option? Unless you love mancala, having games set up in a line isn’t useful (and even then you may want to play something else from time to time). You have to press X to change the menu every single time. The line is a cool presentation but it shouldn’t be the default.
  2. There is no way to sort games. They are not arranged in any particular order. It’d be cool if they were organized alphabetically or by age or region or players or game type but instead we get them loosely thrown together.
  3. Just to get this out the way now, there are not enough games for 3 or 4 people, despite a lot of these being games that support that many players.
Dots and Boxes
  1. Full analogue control is unnecessary. There should be the option to use the D pad to navigate the grid. Also this is an incredibly bare game for what is essentially color and paper. Being able to change the size and shape of the play space would be nice, as would different visual options.
Yacht Dice
  1. Mostly fine, the fact that it doesn’t snap to the category with the most points is weird.
  1. Same aesthetic complaint as D&B. Otherwise it’s fine and the grid based movement feels way better.
Hare and Hounds
  1. Why is there no option to randomize which player is which? That’s literally what happens online.
Chinese Checkers / Ludo
  1. Why can’t you pick your own color?
Shogi / Mini Shogi / Hanafuda
  1. Why aren’t Global and Classic purely cosmetic? Like, why do both players have to use the same setting? Just make it so each player can use the version they’re most comfortable with in the same game. This is a bigger problem online where they’re considered two different games.
Last Card
  1. The option to draw 1, or draw until you have a matching card should be in here, which is a pretty common house rule.
  2. Where you sit at the table doesn’t change nor can you can’t change the total number of players (uno itself can support up to 10 people). This makes friend matches somewhat boring because you’re always seated next to them.
  3. Declaring last card and playing the selected card should be the same action. It’s not like people still wouldn’t mess it up.
  1. This game is broken. You can go negative, which means there’s no incentive to place a reasonable bet. Why not just start the player with 500 if they can rack up debt? This is especially strange because in Texas you lose if you run out of money.
Texas Hold ‘em
  1. The betting system is better but it’s not great. Why can’t we choose how much we want to bet?
  1. Are five rounds necessary? The only thing that matters is who wins the last game so why not have a one round option?
  1. The selection mechanic doesn’t make sense and doesn’t always cooperate, which is problematic for such a high intensity game. Why not map the four cards to buttons and put the deck selection on the triggers?
  1. Same as #5. There’s no advantage to full analogue controls here.
  1. Combos should snap to the appropriate card automatically. You get nothing from having to cycle through to each card.
Pig’s Tail
  1. Analogue makes a little more sense here but digital should still be an option (or at least give us cursor sensitivity options).
  1. A practice mode would be nice, or the option to undo your last stroke at least.
  2. Unlike other golf games, your ball wont bounce across the hole if you putt too hard. This makes the final putt unexiting and almost useless.
  3. It’s not clear how high your shot arcs in relation to the rest of the field.
  1. Why does aiming and shooting suck so hard? Why not map aim to the shoulder buttons and give us a power meter like Carrom?
Bowling / Darts
  1. Why aren’t more than 2 players supported? These are the party games.
Toy Curling
  1. Worse than pool in that aiming and power are the same action. Makes the game imprecise.
  2. We don’t need to be reminded how many shots are left every turn. “Last three” is sufficient.
Toy Baseball
  1. I have never had a successful match with this game against another person. Maybe it’s just me but the controls don’t work when playing against a human who will use every trick under the sun to strike you out. They should’ve just put NES or Wii baseball here.
Slot Cars
  1. Analogue sticks are not precise. I get why they’re here but buttons or even RC cars like in Mario Odyssey would feel better.
  1. Have we learned nothing from Mario Party or Smash 3DS? Turning the stick in a circle like that isn’t fun or comfortable and I don’t want to give my joy con a reason to start drifting again.
  1. Also broken. The fact that there’s nothing stopping you from just spamming shot takes any fun or challenge out of the game once you play against other people. Even limited ammo would work here.
  1. A wasted opportunity. Why aren’t any keys mapped to buttons?
  1. This game, like the NSO libraries, runs poorly for no reason. I have a friend in Australia (which has a poor internet infrastructure). We can play more demanding games like Splatoon and Minecraft just fine but this online is almost unplayable.
  2. Players with poor connection should be locked out of the action games.
  3. There should be a way to quit out of a game without quitting the whole app. There’s no consequence for it—on anyone’s end because they just replace you with a CPU anyway—so why not.
I know I didn’t get everything but I’d like to hear your thoughts. How are you getting along with the game? Are these problems starting to bother you? Do you have different problems that I didn’t name? Let me know in the comments.
submitted by mierecat to NintendoSwitch [link] [comments]

A short but sweet career

 Howdy there folks. My career may be facing a. premature end because of the Backstreet Boys Reunion Tour (COVID-19). I just wanted a place to kinda tell my journey since I might not be getting a banquet this year. So here I go. My whole life I've been a chunkier kid, and I had never been physicaly fit. My 7th and 8th grade years, I had a friend who was a senior in high school who was a God at wrestling, and I idolized him. I never felt like I fit in with the Football jocks, or the band kids, or even the choir kids. But he introduced me to wrestling and I fell in love with it. My early years of my life I struggled with really, really bad depression. To the point of extremes. I'm not really here to talk about that though. My freshman year of highschool rolls around and I join wrestling. So here I am. This 6'0" 270 lb kid who can only bench 125lbs. Taking on the most physicaly grueling sport there is, after 14 years of never intensely exercising. Day one rolls around and I will never forget this. The at the time arrogant and young D'Andre Brown was in a Pissing match with a junior Ashton Paramore. My first memory was holding Ashton back and I barley knew his name. For reference D is about 5'4" or so and weighs 115 lbs. Ashton is 5'8" and weighs 185lbs. It was a crazy first day. I woke up, wrestled, stopped a fight from happening, went to school half dead, went home and slept. Slowly over the course of the next few months I build relationships with the other wrestlers. Tyler AKA Milky, Ashton, Cheeko, Geronimo, Kaleb, Kenneth, Big Moore, and D'Andre (we all call him D). The are all stand up dudes. And of course the other freshman and sophomores too. I felt like I was finally finding my crowd. I am a nerd, I like dnd video games, comics and the like, but so did some of them! I noticed that as I went to sleep it was with a smile on my face, not tears slowly streaming down my cheeks. I found a family. I got my nick name Big Ben. At first it was partially to make fun of my size, but it was all in good jest, and I took it, making it mine. I was awful at wrestling. I won 1 match my whole first season. Sophomore year rolls around and now Kaleb, Kenneth, Tyler, and Big Moore graduate. It felt empty, but I looked forward to this year and season with enthusiasm. I didn't do much better than last year, maybe getting two metals total. (3rd and 2nd) 
I did wrestle Varsity twice because the heavyweight (Louise) was injured but I got stomped on. That year at the quad meet, was the first time I cried at a match. I had never felt so angry at myself and upset that I kept loosing. I tried to hold them in but I went to them bathroom and they streamed down my face. I remember that Geronimo asked me if I was okay and gave me some comforting words. Geronimo by the way, is a State Champion for 220 and 2 time state Qualifier. (It might be three times)
 For some reason coach give me a Varsity letter! I can get my letterman jacket now! And you bet your asses I put "Big Ben" in big letters on the back of that hoe. Noone believed me until they saw it finally the 2019-2020 school year rolls around and I'm excited for season again. I might not be great, but I love the sport. New freshman and this year Geronimo, Ashton, and Cheeko aren't around. They graduated, and cheeko us wrestling for a smaller college now. I help train rookies to my best ability and tournament 1 rolls around. Win after win. I take my first 1st place metal. Tournament after tournament I take first. I don't know what it is that clicked in my head but suddenly I was great at wrestling! However, that was JV. I learned to make the Latreral Press my move. Louise suddenly can't wrestle for a while because of reasons, and so I'm up. I do great there too! 2nd and 3rd place metals. Go back to JV for a while. The team loves me and I feel amazing. Some of the guys who have graduated already come into practice a few times a month and that's always fun. I finally beat Ashton for the first time and that. That was a great feeling. Louise hurts his ankle sometime mid January and starts healing it. My chances are slim, but I just might make it to Varsity Districts. I grind my ASS off and try to build muscle and try to get in as best shape as possible. 250 lbs. 6'2" Benching 250ish, squatting 380ish. Dead lift 500lbs. I was in great shape. I wrestle JV District. My hopes aren't gone, but as we near Varsity they diminish. Coach Hazelwood pulls me to the side 3 days before V Districts. I'm going. Now about a month prior during drills I mat returned one of my rookies. His knee landed on my shin an bruised it pretty good. I took 5 minutes and got back in. Next day it's all good. The bruise starts to fade by the time V Districts rolls around. We go down to the hotel after marching down the hallway, cheers spilling out. I remember very clearly my crush screaming my name and my face flushed. I tried to say "I'LL WIN STATE" but my voice cracked and not much came out. So yeah I still have asked her out. We get to the hotel and we work out in their small gym with a crappy treadmill, and dumbells that went up to 15 pounds. I wrestle day 1. I do pretty well, but my leg starts to act up. I think nothing of it at first. I win 2 lose 1 match. I get back to the hotel and my leg has swollen up. A bumb on my leg that looked to be the size of a golf ball had appeared during the busride back. It felt like every time I put pressure on my leg, someone took a sledge hammer to my shin. I tell coach, he tells me to ice it. I do so. The pain goes away, but it swells up more. Day 2. I wrestle and take 4th. This hoe hurts by this point but I'm just dealing with it, telling coach that it's nothing that bad. It just feels like a bruise. It does not. It feels fractured. I keep practicing when we get back because now I have REGIONALS! I'm pumped. I'm being stupid and not telling coach that I feel like I'm dying. (Yall know how it is.) regionals. Day 1. Win 2 loose 2. Tomorrow the highest I can place is 5th, unless I challenge 4th. I win 5th and I'm crying by this point. I'm tired, I feel like my leg is broken, but I won 5th. I look over to the 4th/3rd match just to see the guy who beat me twice already, get pinned. Well I can't wrestle state, but I can at least see what it's like. We ice my injury more, and it keeps getting bigger. Now it's the size of a goose egg. My parents are worried and I meet the father of one of the girls wrestling. That man was amazing. I'm 90% sure his name was something like Alex. If your out there dawg, you told me all about how your son was huge and jacked. How you used to play football but got injured. It's big ben the heavyweight with the jacked up leg. Idk if he'll see this but maybe he will. I get home and Im in so much pain. But the whole "I'm kinda going to state" out weighed it. My parents took me to a doctor. We got an ultrasound on my leg. It wasn't good news, but it wasn't bad. I had a hematoma and cellulitus on top of it. Also on top of all that, I can't remember what they're called, but when muscle breaks down, this particular chemical rises. It normally is at like 90-100 ish. Mine was all the way at 20k. Doc said I could wrestle until my CK levels were back to normal. (It's called CPK levels.) so even as an alternate, I won't be allowed to wrestle if someone gets injured. I wasn't allowed to exercise at all. No running, no weights, no resistance bands. Nothing. Being a heavyweight who works out constantly makes you hungry. So you eat alot during that time. I gained some weight back. (Quarantine didn't help, but I've got it on lock now) D'Andre and Milly were the only other two guys to go to state. Milly is Geronimo's younger brother, and he is very talented along with D. Milly got 4th I think, and D got 1st for 118. That was a great week. One of my friends from another school also went to state. He was a heavyweight, and ohh boy he was scared to wrestle Chidozie. I'm not sure if he did or didn't. D cried because of his victory and even though I couldn't wrestle, I got a glimpse. But. I nearly made it to state, with a leg that the doctors said most people would have not even been able to walk on. So next year will be my year. That's what I told myself. But I don't know if I'll even get the chance now. I have one word of advice for all of you out there. Whether you are a Wrestler or other wise. 
Today is the day. Not tomorrow, not in a week. If there is something that you think needs to be done, do it now. Before you can't. Go say hello to your grandfather. I can't do that anymore. I wish I had done it more. Go for that jog now. It only gets easier to push off. Start your diet now. Stop eating that burrito, and have a protein shake. Do some push ups.
"The only thing guaranteed in life is failure. To be successful you have to fail" -unknow
Live by it. "Our goal is not to live forever. It is to make something that will." -Sabaton
Make a legacy that will never die! Make something that your enemies will respect. When you get pushed down, stand back up and push back. Never stop moving forward. It doesn't matter if it's a crawl, if it's a waddle, or a run. Keep going no matter what. These are my words of advice. I live by them. Wrestling is not a sport, it is a family. It pulled and dragged me out of a suicidal depression.
"Greatness is not an act. It is a life style." -Ben Davis 2020
submitted by AVeryLONGPotato to wrestling [link] [comments]

Jumping to conclusions ..... the TV landscape

Seen a lot of downvotes for people being for positive about the change. I'm gonna try to give you a balanced look at it, as I have a unique viewpoint. Actually I am sure dozens of us do, as we saw this happen to our first sport. Ultimate.
Thought process of why I think this can work
- CBSS and ESPN3 signed on to show certain Ultimate games with the same exclusivity rights we are seeing here, and the same backlash. Most notably (my year could be off), the WFDF 2013 mixed finals.
- Please note that the first step taken was accepting streaming lower level cable package sites.
- But this is what happened.
4 years later the mixed final from the US Open a major for utli was broadcast with basically the 2 best teams from the sport.
- It then led to this:
So short term this sucks, but the sport might be playing the long game, and after Covid-19 getting more people into this game, this MAY work.
Thought process of why this may not work.
- Ultimate and DG are 2 completely different sports. The reason ultimate works as a live product is because it takes the highlight making plays of football and turns it up to 11. Ultimate is the 'Ultimate' highlight sport. You consistently see Ulti in SC top ten. Which brings me to my next point.
- Post produced coverage being parred down is like ultimate coverage. We are getting the 'highlights'(not really, but we're getting the main plays) in 30-90 minutes depending on how many holes. And disc golf live coverage is not equal to ball golf live coverage. Ball golf has cameras everywhere so we get action from the 8th or 9th card. That is just not feasible right now.

The one thing I implore all of you to do.
Give it one week, and then listen to the The Upshot podcast. I know some of you hate it. But the main host Charlie, also hosts the Ultimate one. He has a lot of ties to the media and will know WAY more than I will. I'm betting that episode will be illuminating.
submitted by florjackson to discgolf [link] [comments]

this took way too long and everyone is gonna forget about this post in like 2 days

when tyler said “[Intro] Bitch, fuck! (Uh, uh, fuck) You have a question?
[Verse 1: Tyler, The Creator] How many cars can I buy 'til I run outta drive? How much drive can I have until I run outta road? How much road can they pave until I run outta land? How much land can it be until I run in the ocean? Niggas go with the motions and all the plans See, I was never into the beaches and all the sands See, I was in the woods with flowers, rainbows, and posies Fallin' outta my pocket, but y'all want to know if I swam to cool down How much cooler can I get until I run out of fans? How many fans can I have until they turn on the AC? If the AC blow up, then I'm TNT, I'm gone
[Bridge: Rex Orange County] I'm gone and I'm finished And I ain't seen my friends in a minute Guessing nothing lasts forever Yeah, nothing lasts forever Nothing sticks together Sick of sitting in doubt Please let me figure this out
[Verse 2: Tyler, The Creator] Shout out to the girls that I led on For occasional head and always keepin' my bed warm And tryin' their hardest to keep my head on straight And keepin' me up enough 'til I had thought I was airborne How many raps can I write 'til I get me a chain? How many chains can I wear 'til I'm considered a slave? How many slaves can it be 'til Nat Turner arise? How many riots can it be until them Black lives matter? Niggas click-clack splatter, (Pew) pew that nigga Life a game of basketball, you better shoot that nigga 'Cause if that cop got trigger, he better pull 'Cause when I get pulled over, I usually play it cool 'Cause I know what I'm drivin' is usually paid in full And my ego and possessions, will not let me be one (Nah) Because I got a mansion, my mansion got some rooms Them rooms got some windows and my windows got some views Them views get some stares and my backyard does too And if you walk to the bottom you'll prolly see a pool You better not drown, keep them ten toes up 'Cause if them ten toes down, that mean that you fucked up And that's what I swim in
[Outro: Rex Orange County] And if I drown and don't come back Who's gonna know? (Maybe then I'll know) And if I crash and don't come back Who's gonna know? (Maybe then I'll know) And if I fall and don't come back Who's gonna know? (Maybe then I'll know) I'm wondering if I don't come back Maybe then I'll know Don't come back Don't come back Ayy, don't come back Don't come back No, no
[Verse 1: Tyler the Creator] Ayo Let's take it back to them days Counting sheep on Sadie Hannah's floor Carpet was my baby mama 80 dollar profit from the coffee I poured Rent-A-Center calling everyday Nobody home, they're knocking on the door Now I skrrt, skrrt, skrrt, skrrt (Skrrt!) In toys I only dreamed that I could afford Now I roll through Okaga
[Chorus: Frank Ocean & Tyler the Creator] I ride to California (Yeah) These frog oval goggles I'm leanin' out the window OJ shinin' on me (Oh, ooh) Simp sun shinin' on me (ayy, yeah) Slick circles float roll Out this world Yeah, yeah
[Bridge: Tyler, The Creator] Run it, run it, run it, run it I rock, I roll, I bloom, I grow (I grow) I rock, I roll (What you say?), I bloom, I grow (I glow) I rock, I roll (Let 'em know), I bloom, I grow (I glow) I rock, I roll (One more time), I bloom, I grow (Let's go!)
[Verse 2: Tyler, The Creator] Ain't nobody fucking with T, but that just may be my ego But don't be too cool, you might freeze Because niggas get stuck in the cold (Man, look at this ice) Shit weighs a ton Water your garden, my nigga (Stunt on these niggas!) Tell these black kids they could be who they are Dye your hair blue, shit, I'll do it too (What the fuck?) Look, I smell like Chanel I never mall grip with my manicured nails I coconut oil the skin I keep the top low 'cause the follicles thinnin' But other than that, man It feels like I'm winning (I'm winnin', nigga) Went from statistic to millionaire CNN doubted 'cause my skin is dark Then they forget when I get in my car
[Chorus: Frank Ocean] These frog oval goggles I'm leanin' out the window OJ shinin' on me (Oh, ooh) Simp sun shinin' on me Slick circles roll float Out this world Yeah, yeah Run it, run it, run it, yeah (Ohh, ohh!)
[Bridge: Tyler, The Creator] I glow (I glow) I rock, I roll (What you say?), I bloom, I grow (I glow) I rock, I roll (Let 'em know), I bloom, I grow (I glow) I rock, I roll (One more time), I bloom, I- (Let's go!)
[Verse 3: Tyler, The Creator] Flower boy T, nigga that's me Rooted from the bottom, bloomed into a tree Took a lil' while, nigga makin' leaves Keep it in my branches so my family can eat Favorite color green, energy is skrong Giving niggas life, birdies and the beez Droppin' them seeds, not what you want You don't know what I keep in the trunk
[Interlude: Tyler, The Creator] Ah, shit!
[Outro: Tyler, The Creator] Ahh, ahh Ahh Run it, run it, run it, run it Run it Run it Run it
[Tyler, The Creator] Sometimes, I sit in my room and think about us
[Shane Powers] "It's Golf Radio, you're on the air with Shane Powers Taking requests... Uh, What’s uh, pick that one... What's uh... What's your name? Hello? Um, okay, well, since you want to be Mr. Fucking-Secret-Agent, what song you wanna hear?"
[Wyatt Navarro] The one about me
[Intro: Tyler, The Creator] Okay, okay, okay, okay Okay, okay, oh
[Verse 1: Tyler, The Creator] You live in my dream state Relocate my fantasy I stay in reality You live in my dream state Any time I count sheep That's the only time we make up, make up You exist behind my eyelids, my eyelids Now I don't wanna wake up
[Pre-Chorus: Tyler, The Creator] 20/20, 20/20 vision Cupid hit me, Cupid hit me with precision, I Wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind I said, I said I'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing You're the one that's always running through my day dreams, I I can only see your face when I close my eyes
[Chorus: Kali Uchis & Tyler, The Creator] Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I said I'm 'bout to go to war And I don't know if I'ma see you again Can I get a kiss? (Can I?) And can you make it last forever? (Can you?) I said I'm 'bout to go to war (I'm 'bout to) And I don't know if I'ma see you again Ugh, switch it up
[Verse 2: Tyler, The Creator] I said, okay, okay, okay, okie dokie, my infatuation Is translatin' to another form of what you call it? (Love) Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, I ain't met you I've been looking, stop the waiting 'Fore I stop the chasing, like an alcoholic "You don't understand me", what the fuck do you mean? It's them rose-tinted cheeks, yeah it's them dirt-colored eyes Sugar honey iced tea, bumblebee on the scene Yeah, I'd give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie Uugh!
[Pre-Chorus: Tyler, The Creator] 20/20, 20/20 vision Cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision, I Wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind I said, I said I'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing You're the one that's always running through my day dreams, I I can only see your face when I close my eyes (So)
[Chorus: Kali Uchis] Can I get a kiss? (Can I get a kiss?) And can you make it last forever? (Make it last forever) I said I'm 'bout to go to war ('Bout to go to war) I don't know if I'ma see you again (See you again) Can I get a kiss? (Can I?) And can you make it last forever? (Can you?) I said I'm 'bout to go to war ('Bout to) And I don't know if I'ma see you again
[Outro: Tyler, The Creator & Kali Uchis] Okay, okay, okay, okay Okay, okay, okay, oh La la, la la la la, la la La la, la la la, la la Okay, okay, okay, okay Okay, okay, okay, oh La la, la la la la, la la La la, la la la la One more time?
[Verse 1: Tyler, The Creator] Yo, who dat boy? Who him is? Him that ni-guh, I swear Stand out guy, him don't need no chair Well, where the fuck him at? 'Cause nigga, I'm right here I don't shop at the mall, all y'all just Dumb mothafucka, I'm a goddamn artist You can give me some markers and I'll draw you a closet And you know that it's GOLF, bitch, gonna make the deposit Nigga fresh to death like he got dressed in a coffin Cons, overalls, and a striped shirt The boy drips swag like a broken faucet It's runnin', nigga, I'm runnin' shit That cherry be the bomb like he ran in Boston Won't stop 'til the cops surround him One nigga jiggy and the other awesome With his fuckin' face blown off, that's how they found him It's Young T
[Chorus: Tyler, The Creator & A$AP Rocky] Who dat boy? Who him is? Who dat boy? Who him is? Nigga, who dat boy? Who him is? Who dem boys? Nigga, who dem is, nigga? Why you niggas feel like that? Mad 'cause a nigga neck chill like that You mad 'cause a nigga push wheel like that? Why you puttin' bad vibes in the air like that? Nigga, who dem boys?
[Verse 2: A$AP Rocky] Who dem is? Nigga, who dem is? Who else step in this bitch this jig? Who else your bitch say got a bick this big? Who else came through with a wrist this flick? Nigga, Guess my pants, do my dance Spin around, bitch, you could kiss my ass Never seen a nigga in this much Raf Still doin' math when I miss my class Was it Summertime '06, had the Number (N)ine Nigga, never mind, was another time before Vince Had the Gucci gold tips with the letterman Nigga, dollar sign was my favorite number at the time Fresh freshmen 'til they skipped my ass Senior citizen, don't forget my pass Been that nigga and you knew that there Make the dick disappear, how she do that there?
[Chorus: Tyler, The Creator & A$AP Rocky] Who dat boy? Who him is? Who dat boy? Who him is? Nigga, who dat boy? Who him is? Who dem boys? Nigga, who dem is, nigga? Why you niggas feel like that? Mad 'cause a nigga's neck chill like that You mad 'cause a nigga push wheel like that? Why you puttin' bad vibes in the-?
[Verse 3: Tyler, The Creator & A$AP Rocky] Fuck the rap, I'm tryna own a planet From my other fuckin' business ventures These niggas these days Actin' like some bitches, like they're fuckin' with ya (yeah) Teeth is glistenin', Jesus, Christmas He just shittin', she exquisite, bitches be expensive (Yeah, let 'em know, nigga) And I don't even need attention WANG$AP on the bumper sticker, fuck you niggas Fuck global warming, my neck is so frío I'm currently lookin' for '95 Leo My mom say she worried because I'm so ill I should stay in bed, but got too much bread To make, she said watch my weight So I stayed home and start eatin' some meals Get out of my way-way, boy that's McLaren That's 0 to 60 in 2 point nueve, I'm gone
[Outro: Tyler, The Creator] Fuck
[Intro: Tyler, the Creator] Shit
[Verse 1: Tyler, the Creator] My mother warned me that some niggas ain't my right hand To trust her, only my heart and that elder white man His name is Clancy, I fancy him, gotta give him props He half the reason why dealerships even let me cop So now I'm speedin' and tryna drive away from the fact That she was right, so I triple left, tryna double back The streets are filled with some clues Like how I ain't notice that? (How I ain't see that?) Fuck it, I seen some familiar stuck in the cul-de-sac I pull up, get out, what up? I wanna help But what you want for some, some niggas Really don't want for themself Now do I stay? Do I go? That's my dilemma And traffic is picking up, if I don't leave I'ma get stuck (Skrt) So I speed off, we talk barely and it seems awkward And I heard through some words that you're off it I got too much drive, don't wanna steer off path And crash and get distracted But I listen to that weather man 'cause it might rain Keep my windshield wipers prepared 'Cause y'all throw so much shade And I got jacket in trunk, but that's in the front I also got power for both of us if you're ever in need of jump Just let me know, my nigga
[Chorus: Jaden Smith & Tyler, the Creator] I had to switch gears on 'em Fishtail in the rearview mirror on 'em (Skrrrrrt!) I had to switch gears on 'em You know, swerve, left turn, steerin' wheel on 'em Nigga that's a pothole, watch out for the pothole Watch out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole Look out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole Watch out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole
[Verse 2: Tyler, the Creator] Snakes in the grass, but I walk I got some new boots, on the back it says GOLF So I be prepared for their bites, they're all talk I left the condom in the grass so fuck off Watchin' Clarence in a mansion with nobody in it Young successful nigga, ride McLaren with no windows tinted I drive by piggies when I'm in it 'cause it feels amazin' The irony is I stopped eatin' bacon Don't get it twisted, nigga, I'm still hungry, oh he lonely All my friends talk about their hoes and tenderonies But all I can show 'em is a couple cars and more things That I've made in the couple past month, he's on, please Everyone is a sheep, me, a lone wolf Nobody gon' make a peep 'cause everyone wants some wool Since everyone is a sheep, not everyone here is cool Man I'd rather drown in a pool by myself Than fuck with their fleece See, man, T-Man fans be seesaw Wind blows, they go, which way, who knows? One day, "Fuck no," the next day, "Okay" But fuck y'all, I know that T is four for four I just want that garden and that Batmobile Good health, success, time on earth worthwhile Find somebody who love me and raise a couple of lizards But my vehicle's good for now, that's in a couple of miles Now keep it pushin', nigga
[Chorus: Jaden Smith & Tyler, the Creator] I had to switch gears on 'em Fishtail in the rearview mirror on 'em (Skrrrrrt!) I had to switch gears on 'em You know, swerve, left turn, steerin' wheel on 'em Nigga that's a pothole, watch out for the pothole Watch out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole Look out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole Watch out for the pothole, watch out for the pothole
[Outro: Tyler, the Creator] Fuck, okay, next one Do-do-do-do-do-do Gotta watch out for the potholes Ooh, said watch out for the potholes Haha
[Chorus: Estelle] Don't kill a rose Before it could bloom Fly, baby, fly Out the cocoon
[Verse 1: Tyler, the Creator] You don't have to hide I can smell it in your eyes That there's something more to say, baby Them words Damn, run me back, yeah
[Bridge: Estelle & Tyler, the Creator] If I could, if I could If you could Find the words to say Find the words to say Find the words In the garden Shed Go
[Chorus: Estelle] Don't kill a rose Before it could bloom Fly, baby, fly Out the cocoon
[Verse 2: Tyler, the Creator] Ayo Garden shed, garden shed, garden shed, garden shed For the garden That is where I was hidin' That was real love I was in Ain't no reason to pretend Garden shed, garden shed, garden shed Garden shed for the garçons Them feelings that I was guardin' Heavy on my mind All my friends lost They couldn't read the signs I didn't wanna talk and tell 'em my location And they ain't wanna walk Truth is, since a youth kid, thought it was a phase Thought it'd be like the phrase; "poof," gone But, it's still goin' on Big fan of the beige tan Polka dot nose, how it goes Had to keep it on the subwoofer A couple butterflies wanna float But I was always like, "Eh" Barely interested, but bagged just to brag to my boys like, "Bruh" This is a crucial subject matter Sensitive like cookin' batter 'Til the temperature that's risin' Steppin' on that ladder, tryna Grab the rings of Saturn, I'ma Planet by the time you hear this Shit and chatter 'bout the heat It will not fuckin' matter
[Intro: Rex Orange County & Corinne Bailey Rae] When you're having fun, fun Time flies, time flies, time flies When you're having fun (time flies) Out the window (it goes, goes, goes)
[Chorus: Rex Orange County] Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time Find some time to do something Ah
[Verse 1: Rex Orange County & Anna of the North] Boredom got a new best friend (Boredom, boredom, best friend) 'Cause boredom got a new best friend (oh, oh, oh) Boredom got a new best friend Na-na-na, na-na-na, oh-na-na-na Oh, oh, oh
[Chorus: Rex Orange County & Anna of the North] Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time (Find some time, oh)
[Verse 2: Tyler, The Creator] Boredom, boredom, boredom, boredom Boredom, boredom, boredom Boy, my bedroom floor is a cereal burial, I'm serious I ate 'em all, dry boxes, bodies, yeah I caught 'em If we're talkin' 'bout real meals, ask my stomach, he ain't saw 'em I've been in this fuckin' room so long My eyeballs are turning to drywall My friends suck, fuck 'em, I'm over 'em "Hi y'all, y'all ain't hit me all-day What the fuck is the problem? Is it me? 'Cause I'm not solved, I'm... bored."
[Chorus: Rex Orange County & Anna of the North] Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time Find some time to do something (Oh)
[Verse 3: Tyler, The Creator] Bored and getting desperate as hell (Desperate, using, texting, amusing) Cellular not amusing and I hope someone will Message me with some plans that are amusing as well 'Cause I haven’t seen the exit of these walls since before this morning Morning, morning, morning, morning (Morning, oh, what the fuck?) Got some cars I can handle but nowhere for performance My stomach angry and yellin', I need some food, I could order But I hate eating solo Need someone, we can loiter in parking lots As sunsets at the border, yeah Ringy dingy dong, I can't be alone I been starting to feel like I don't know anyone So now I'm staring at my ceiling fuckin' blowing Like I have no idea where I'm going Tick tock (Damn, gotta get outta here)
[Chorus: Rex Orange County, Anna of the North and Tyler, the Creator] Find some time Find some time to do something (Hey, can y'all help me right quick?) Find some time Find some time to do something Find some time Find some time to do something(Tick Tock) (Ti-Ti-Tick Tock) (Oh)
[Bridge: Tyler, the Creator & Anna of the North] 'Cause boredom got a new best friend Tick tock Boredom got a new best friend 'Cause boredom got a new best friend Tick tock
[Outro: Rex Orange County] Find some time, find some time Gotta find some time, find some time Gonna find some, find some time Gotta find some time, find some time Gonna find some, find some time Gotta find some time, find some time Gonna find some, find some time Time, time, time, time Time, time, time, time Time, time, time, time Time, time, time
[Shane Powers] "Ride's over, we got some tickets to see s-"
[Intro: Shane Powers] Right now we got some new music only here on Golf Radio! (God I love this sample) We're going to dance And exercise And have some fun
[Chorus] I ain't got time for these niggas Better throw a watch at the boy Had my boys in this bitch, looking like a seminar Who the fuck you talking to, motherfucker? Boy, I ain't got time for these bitches Better throw a clock at these hoes Have these hoes in this bitch looking for a water hose Who the fuck you talking to, motherfucker? Boy, I ain't got time
[Verse 1] Boy, I need a Kleenex How I got this far? Boy, I can't believe it That I got this car, so I take the scenic Passenger a white boy, look like River Phoenix First, happy birthday! You bitch ass nigga, yup I'm thirsty Them little shots that you threw, they ain't hurt me I ain't fuck with you bitch ass in the first place
[Chorus] I ain't got time for these niggas Better throw a watch at the boy Had my boys in this bitch, looking like a seminar Who the fuck you talking to, motherfucker? Boy, I ain't got time for these bitches Better throw a clock at these hoes Have these hoes in this bitch looking for a water hose Who the fuck you talking to, motherfucker? Boy, I ain't got time
[Verse 2] Nat Turner would be so proud of me 'Cause all these motherfuckers got they style from me I bet they all looking from the crowd at me And if I ask them, they would bow at me But you're a house nigga, so you don't know How that shit go, with my big lips and my big nose And my big dick and my short hair 'Cause you already know how slow my shit grow
[Bridge] (Hey) Tick, tock Tick, tock Tick, tock Tick, tock
[Verse 3] Been the man with a pickle plan, niggas know the dill When I sell the carnival, I bet I get a 100 mil' Next line will have 'em like "Whoa" I've been kissing white boys since 2004 One me, two feet, three M's Four, five, six years ago sucked Seven figure conversations with Converse finalized 'Cause Vans fucked up I'ma read commas, you gon' leave comments Saying what I shoulda did, but you ain't did nada You ain't important I'ma keep sporting All smiles over here Shout out to The Garden (Tick-tock) (And that's a fact boy!) And I just handle all my business like a chessboard (Tick tock, tick, tock) And at them Golf boys? That's my motherfucking set, boy Hard pill to swallow like some thick soda Walk weird 'cause my pockets look like thick Yoda With a Skywalker, riding 'round solar Anakin skin Sprite, and my tint cola Getting neck from abroad like some big shoulders Till I bust like that 9 in ya heat holster Everything I say is hot, bitch I speak toaster And the bread orthodox like I eat kosher Shout out to (shhh) they gave a big loaf of Green bread, got me chilling like a clean sofa What's that thick odor? Young Millie T A young, focused black boy, oh silly me (I ain't got time!)
[Verse 4] Better talk shit 'Cause I'm either in my Cons or my Golf shit Pants got a lil flood, nigga pipe down I'm Lil Boosie, Lil Boosie, way I wipe down (Boy I ain't got time!) Yeah right now 'Cause niggas dying every day and I ain't light brown And i-D ain't wanna give a nigga no post So I went and did a 12-page spread in Vogue (Nigga I ain't got time!)
[Outro] Listen, man, I'm that boy All you little niggas clones Boy I fill that void You better kill that noise Turn around and remap route When they see that boy with them big ears and that gap tooth Bitch Tick, tock Tick, tock Tick, tock Fuck, hello
[Part I: 911]
[Intro: Tyler, The Creator] (Call me, call me, call me) Uh (Call me, call me, call me) Uh (Call me, call me, call me) Uh (Call me, call me, call me) (Call me) How you doin'? (Call me) My name is Lonely, nice to meet you Here's my number You can reach me, woo!
[Chorus: Tyler, The Creator] (Call me) 911, call me some time (You should call me) 911, call me some time 911 (You should call me, oh) 911 (Call me)
[Verse 1: Tyler, The Creator] Aw, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah My thirst levels are infinity and beyond Sippin' on that lemonade, I need a Beyoncé Can't see straight, these shades are Céline Dion Sucks you can't gas me up, shout out to Elon Musk, yeah, I got a sold-out show Crowd wild out but don't matter 'cause you not front row I've been lookin' for a keeper, listen to the speaker If you fit description, hit me on my beeper At that 911
[Bridge: Steve Lacy, Anna of the North & Tyler, The Creator] Call me some time (ring, ring, ring) Please bang my line, you know I'll answer (click) Call me some time (ring, ring, ring) Please bang my line
[Chorus: Tyler, The Creator & Anna of the North] Call me 911, call me some time You should call me 911, call me some time 911, (you should call me, oh) 911, (you should call me)
[Verse 2: Frank Ocean] Chirp, chirp Chirp, chirp Woke up in the 'burbs, 'burbs, with the birds, birds Where you used to come and get me with the swerve, swerve These days you gotta find time Even the nightline Work line Dial nine
[Verse 3: Tyler, The Creator] Five car garage Full tank of the gas But that don't mean nothing, nothing Nothin', nothin', without you shotgun in the passenger I'm the loneliest man alive But I keep on dancing to throw 'em off I'm gon' run out of moves 'cause I can't groove to the blues If you know any DJs, tell 'em to call me at 911...
[Part II: Mr. Lonely]
[Intro: A$AP Rocky, ScHoolboy Q, Lionel & Tyler, The Creator] I can't even lie, I've been lonely as fuck Old lonely ass nigga I can't even lie, I've been lonely as fuck Forreal, you need to go somewhere, like, get some bitches or something I can't even lie, I've been lonely as fuck Old weird ass nigga I can't even lie, I've been Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
[Verse: Tyler, The Creator] They say the loudest in the room is weak That's what they assume, but I disagree I say the loudest in the room Is prolly the loneliest one in the room (that's me) Attention seeker, public speaker Oh my God, that boy there is so fuckin' lonely Writin' songs about these people Who do not exist, he's such a fuckin' phony One thing I know, is that I wanna Win so bad, but I'm not Chicago Heart is low, it's real low, it's so low You can't lift me up, I'm like Gallardo From the start it's been real dark It's been so dark, I guess that you could call me charbroiled, huh I'm playin' like Hasbro I'm really Saari, call me Arto Crashed the McLaren, bought me a Tesla I know you sick of me talkin' 'bout cars (skrrt) But what the fuck else do you want from me? That is the only thing keepin' me company Purchase some things until I'm annoyed These items is fillin' the void Been fillin' it for so long I don't even know if it's shit I enjoy (ohh) Current battle as an adult My partner is a shadow I need love, do you got some I could borrow? Fuck it, I could find some tomorrow But that never comes Like a vasectomy, what have I done? I got the talent, the face and the funds Found myself long ago but I haven't found someone (who) Mirror, mirror on the wall (who) The loneliest of them all (me) Cupid actin' stupid Do you got another number I could call? Never had a pet I've never had a pet There's more fish in the sea But I never had a goldfish to begin with I never had a dog So I've never been good with bitches 'Cause I never threw a ball, fetch I never had a pet, that's where it stems from, I bet Treat me like direct deposit Check in on me sometime Ask me how I'm really doin' So I never have to press that 911
[Outro: Jasper] Ohh! Damn! Damn!
[Intro: Lil Wayne] Mula!
[Verse: Lil Wayne] Like Adam in the Garden of Eden My bitch got an apple bottom and she swallow my seeds Follow my lead, fire I breathe, water my seed And sit back and watch money grow on trees Droppin' seeds like classes, these hoes drop they asses I drop a seed in her panties if it smell like pansies I'm a banshee in her panties, nigga, ask your mammy Never played golf, but got a driver and a Caddy Whole squad slammin' like Onyx, you know Sticky Fingaz Some drop science, I'm droppin' English Even if Tyler named the song "Flower" No seeds in the bud, still don't trust bugs I'm down
[Outro: Tyler, The Creator & Lil Wayne] Droppin' seeds on these niggas, they can't fuck with the boy (Mula!) I'm droppin' seeds on these bitches for the love of the sport I'm droppin' seeds, got this garden, flowers poppin' of course I'm droppin' seeds, motherfucker, Weezy Baby the boy, yugh!
[Intro] Say some more, never want to talk about it Feel a way, woah Feel a way, woah Feel a way, November...
[Chorus] Take me back to November Take me back to November Hawaiian shirts in the winter, cold water, cold water Yeah, take me back to November, wassup Can we go back to November? Take me back to November Hawaiian shirts in the winter, deep thoughts, deep thoughts Naw, take me back to November, wassup
[Verse 1] What if Clancy fuckin' me over? What if "Who Dat Boy" is rhetorical and this shit is over? What if I'm hustling backwards? What if my accountant ain't payin' my taxes? Fillin' his pockets and IRS show up asking me questions I couldn't answer 'cause I was too busy tryna make classics Boy ain't got no motherfucking classics What if my music too weird for the masses? And I'm only known for tweets more than beats or All my day ones turn to three, fours 'cause of track seven Fuck, what if I get stuck? What if I got comfortable? I gotta keep it buck fifty What if I lost it all and ended up back in Ladera At them shitty apartments that's across the Bank of America Damn, I would be hurtin' Writing all of these songs cause Wi-Fi wasn't working Last year in total, I put out two verses But five-seven figures since then, life's kinda perfect Oh is it really? Oh is it really? Bitch you know the dealy Really hilly willy tilly silly, hold that billy how I Milly Rock When they can't relate him, when they start to hate him They don't drive these cars so what's their ultimatum? Tell me, what's your November? Is it a person? Mine was the summer '06, I remember the... (horn) What if I thought the brake was the gas? What if I crashed? What if these deep thoughts was my last? Let me pull over, quick!
[Chorus] And drive back to November Take me back to November Hawaiian shirts in the Winter, cold water, cold water Yeah, take me back to November, wassup Can we go back to November? Take me back to November Hawaiian shirts in the Winter, deep thoughts, deep thoughts Naw, take me back to November, wassup
[Interlude: Jasper Dolphin, Taco, Kilo Kish, Christian Clancy, Syd, Lionel, Vince Staples, Julian Conesugra] My November was those Odd Future Sundays, where we used to just skate all day My November, and I was performing and Lil Wayne rapped with me, I think I cried that night My November was awesome, I booked my first feature film My November was when I was gifted this Getz and Gilberto album My November was seeing Erykah Badu perform My November was... my brother took me to my first concert ever, which was to Kanye West's Glow in the Dark... My November was summer 2015 when I fell in love with someone who fucked my whole world up, showed me life through a different 2014, Miami 43rd Street, every day was November
[Bridge] Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back I ain't doin' fine, lost my mothafuckin' mind Time travel back and help me find Take me back, take me back to November, this I know Take me back, take me back Take me back, take me back to November, this I know "My November is right now"
[Verse 2] I wrote a song about you, I want your opinion Opposite of my heart rate, it slows down at the ending 'Cause the love I got for you has exceeded appearance, the lyrics are Matter of fact, I'ma just call you, so you can hear it If you do answer, I'll play it to state facts Although I already know the response you gon' say back At that point I'll hang up, disappear and just stay back And if you don't I'll leave a voicemail with the playback
[Outro] Hello, no one is available to take your call Please leave a message after the tone [beep]
[Intro] Da na na na na, da na na na na Da na na na na, my baby You've been on my mind (How ya feel?) I'm losing my mind because I hope that we can be more than just friends
[Chorus] Fireworks, I feel like glitter And every time you come around, I feel like glitter (How ya feel?) You're the one that I needed in my life (How ya feel?) You're the one that I needed in my life
[Verse 1] Ayo, mirror mirror on the wall, who the brightest of them all? I never been the darkest one 'cause my self esteem is tall So I never seen eye-to-eye with y'all niggas, ayo Uno peso, never paid attention to what niggas gotta say-o So I keep that buck, I ain't give no fuck They ain't build me up so I block 'em like Lego Feelin' glitter, feelin' good and great Got the burner, got the heat, like wait Got the shit, it's all up on that hip I'll use it on myself on the day you dip Got that 4, 5, 7, track 8 for me Baby doll, I hope you agree Because you light my
[Chorus] Fireworks, I feel like glitter (I don't even know what that means) And every time you come around, I feel like glitter (How you feel?) You're the one that I needed in my life (How you feel?) You're the one that I needed in my life 'Cause I love having you around (I love) 'Cause I love having you around
[Verse 2] Yeah, look at my face, look at that joy This is one sided, yeah, I can't lie We ain't gon' work out, we a fat boy Yeah, sumo, got it, memo Pale skin see-through, must be a window 'Cause you ain't an L, could be a DJ When I see you my heart beat changes tempo Yeah, simple, that's what I want but I can't That's who you are but I ain't (how ya feel?) We can track 10 skiptrace, I'm caught in your quicksand, wait Please don't save me
[Bridge] Ooooh (Please don't save me, yeah) How ya feel? (Rose tinted cheeks) How ya feel? How ya feel? How ya feel? How ya feel? How ya feel? (Scum Fuck Flower Boy) How ya feel? (Scum Fuck Flower Boy) How ya feel? (Scum Fuck Flower Boy) How ya feel? How ya feel?
[Outro] We didn't get your message, either because you were not speaking or because of a bad connection Fuck” i felt that
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あなたは私のことを何と言ったの?私がネイビーシールズでクラスのトップを卒業したことを知ってもらいます。アルクエダで数々の秘密の襲撃に関与しており、300人以上の殺害が確認されています。私はゴリラ戦の訓練を受けており、全米軍の中で最高の狙撃兵です。あなたは私には何の役にも立たず、ただの別のターゲットです。この地球上でこれまで見られなかったような正確さで性交を一掃します、私のクソ言葉をマークします。あなたはインターネットで私にそのたわごとを言うことで逃げることができると思いますか?もう一度考えて、ファッカー。私たちが話している間、私はアメリカ中のスパイの秘密のネットワークに連絡しており、あなたのipは現在追跡されているので、嵐、うじ虫の準備をよりよくすることができます。あなたが人生と呼ぶ哀れな小さなことを一掃する嵐。お前は死んだぞ私はどこにでも、いつでもいることができ、700以上の方法であなたを殺すことができます。それは私の素手だけです。私は非武装戦闘で広範囲に訓練されているだけでなく、私は米国海兵隊の兵器全体にアクセスでき、大陸の顔からあなたの惨めなお尻を拭き取るためにそれを最大限に使用します、あなたはちょっとくそ。もしあなただけが、あなたの小さな「賢い」コメントがあなたに降りかけようとしている不誠実な報復が何であるかを知ることができたなら、たぶんあなたはあなたのクソ舌を握っていただろう。しかし、あなたはできなかったし、そうしなかったし、今やあなたは代価を払っているのだ。私はあなたのいたるところに激怒し、あなたはそれに溺れます。お前は死んだぞ、キッド️️ ️ ️although ️‍ ️‍️ ️‍️‍️‍ ️⃣ ️️ ️️️ � 𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓽 𝓾𝓹
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The Hip Hop Lines of the 2010s

I usually do an annual write up but here’s a bonus. NOTE: These are lyrics that somewhat defined the artists who in turn defined 2010-2019. These ARE NOT the best lines said by an artist nor their most memorable bars. Most of these lines also are from early in the decade/career as they seem fitting (self-fulfilling prophecy and shit). Also, this list is popularity over skill. Any of the relatively smaller artists mentioned are from my own bias of their skill and impact/notoriety in hip hop during the 2010s. I ask posters to tell me their favorite/memorable lines, and to try and put me onto an artist I perhaps never listened to. There are several of my favorites that I simply cannot put on here or are regulated to the honorable mentions. This is a thick list so I cannot do a proper write up for all entries.
“Rap is the new rock ‘n’ roll! We the rock stars!” - Kanye West, BBC Radio 1 Interview
The most defining line of rap this past decade is not from a song, but is from a Kanye rant. My feelings on Mr. West has changed over the years, and while I disagree with his recent statements, this quote from 2013 is still stands. Rap is the new rock. Rap is now the genre that is at the top. Rap is the genre full of the “bad influences” that middle America is too ignorant to actual look at. Rap is the genre with the bad words, the political statements, the party tracks, the nonsense, the soul, the spirit, the drug overdoses, the groupies, the strong women, the breakoffs into sub-genres, etc. After 40 years, Hip Hop music is the dominant genre and its influence is worldwide. We can’t be stopped.
“If I die, I’m a legend,” – Drake, Legend
I remember when Best I Never Had dropped its music video and my sister called me into the living room to watch it on MTV2. Halfway through, I asked her, “Isn’t that the wheelchair dude on that show you like?” Who fucking knew that Jimmy from Degrassi would turn into the biggest star of the 2010s. Love him, hate him, he’s broken records in sales/streaming and he made a lot of money in the meantime. When Drake said this bar in 2015, there was some arguments, but he’s right: If he died at that position, his fans would force the culture to see him as a legend. And despite my issues with him, I can name three) strong reasons that makes his statement true. A toast to the Champagne Papi.
“Step on my neck and get blood on your Nike checks. I don't mind 'cause one day you'll respect - The good kid, m.A.A.d city” – Kendrick Lamar, good kid
Despite other rappers being more popular than him in certain circles of entertainment, Kendrick Lamar has earned his position as the King of Hip Hop. From his rise under Dre to beating Drake in sales, Kendrick’s journey to the top was an amazing experience for listeners. In three fantastic albums, Kendrick cemented his legacy in the 2010s and until another rapper can outdo him, he holds the crown. (Plus, three great albums tends to throws you into GOAT talk). Put it this way: Kendrick Lamar is a better rapper than your favorite rapper. His “throwaway” album was great. His soundtrack album was great. And yes, MAAD city is the better song, but dammit, the song before it should get loved as well.
“I can’t relate to my peers. I’d rather live outside. I’d rather chip my pride than lose my mind” – Frank Ocean, Siegfried
“I’m a fucking walking paradox” – Tyler, the Creator, Yonkers
“It hurt cuz I can’t keep a date or put personal time in, or reverse to the times when my face didn’t surprise you before I did the shit that earned me my term on that island” – Earl Sweatshirt, Faucet
This applies to the previous three lines: At the start of the decade, Earl was rapping about sexual assault, Tyler was pissing every one off, and Frank was putting out projects at a steady rate. Oh yeah, they also were all form the same group, named “Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All” which is connected to “Golf Wang” “Flog Gnaw,” and had a few members appear in the beloved “Gucci Gucci” music video with Kreashawn (more about that in another thread). The changes from 2011 OF to the standalone acts of Tyler, Earl, and Frank are crazy to review. Others have, so I won’t, but man I’m glad to have witnessed these three artist grow in and out of their music.
“I'm just playing, but all good jokes contain true shit, same rope you climb up on, they'll hang you with” – J. Cole, Fire Squad
I consider Cole the amongst Drake and Kendrick as the “Three Musketeers” of 2010s rap, at least popularity wise. The trio laid down so many good tracks. J. Cole fits a lot of what people wanted from a rapper after the ringtone-rap era. But, once he started doing it, it’s like people didn’t want it anymore. Folks called him boring, but everyone knew he could spit. In comes 2014 FHD, and boy, Cole cemented his place in the Big 3, and he’s pretty good at ball, too. While 4 Your Eyez Only and KOD split some fans apart, I liked the albums. He has pushed his image as a bigger brother in rap, or at least, a middle child, so let’s see what he can do in 2020.
“The kid that used to pitch bricks can't be pigeonholed” – Jay-Z, Family Feud
In the third decade of his (studio album) career, Jay has blessed us with another classic in the form of 4:44, expressing the maturity of a former drug dealer turned rappebusinesscomma man. Fanboying aside, Jay has taken up the role hip-hop’s dad. One that lectures you about what’s right from wrong at the end of a sitcom. Shout out to Uncle Phil, Carl Winslow, Pops, and even Dre from black-ish.FuckPillCosby Jay also collaborates and give shout outs to rising rappers he deems fit for the mic. It was a bit of a rocky start with MCHG telling people to appreciate art, but it took a retrospective of Shawn Carter and several guest features to remind people that Hov’s still alive.
“I’m beginning to feel like I’m a Rap god” – Eminem, Rap God
Another legend in his third decade of rhyming. After the divisive Relapse in 2009, Eminem took on a different persona, or at least cut down on Slim Shady, until he wanted to promote a sequel. He has a “father of rap” role amongst the younger rappers of this generation, but it’s the dad whose jokes don’t always land well. For every Caterpillar verse or Chloraseptic Remix, there’s a Revival. He keeps doing those songs with [insert female pop vocalist] on the chorus that don’t land like they did on his first few albums, and yet, he’ll still give you a career just to destroy it in a rap beef. It’s like, we know he can spit, but he keeps releasing shit that proves otherwise. (I originally used a line from his 2011 BET Cypher, so go check that out )
“It's so different now, everything is so different now” – Logic, Till the End
It’s like, we know he can spit, but he keeps releasing shit that proves otherwise. He keeps doing those songs with [“I’m biracial!”] on the chorus, but it don’t land like his first few mixtapes, yet, he’ll looks up recent Logic lyric . . . yet he’ll “suck a dick just to prove it ain’t that way”. . . Huh? I honestly Logic gets caught under pressure and the hate on social media gets to him. Here’s another white rapper that people say is killing mumble rappers and “saving rap.” Look, Logic and Em got skill, and they’ve proven so. If anything, their fanbase can be too much. White people really love white rappers, eh?
“I'm underrated, don't fit on nobody's playlist, If I ain't in your top 10 then you're a racist” – Mac Miller, Here We Go
And all types of people really respect Mac Miller. From frat rap to philosophical lines to rapping about pussy to introspective lines about his drug habits, Mac gained a lot of respect from his peers. I know I said I can’t write a lot for everyone, but I’ll be unfair for Mac: he helped me better understand my own issues in life, namely any possible issues with my mental health and my thought process on certain destructive behaviors. He wasn’t my favorite rapper, but I loved listening to his shit. This lovable goof sadly passed away in September 2018, and it was arguably the hardest a celebrity’s death hit me. Partly because he was around my age, partly because he influenced my train of thought, as corny as some internet thugs believe that sounds. Thus, I did NOT pick one of the many lines that talk about him overdosing or dying before he turns 27. He will be sorely missed, by family, friends, and peers. Mac Miller is another example of a beautiful character arc, as much as the road was rocky and the end sucked. I really do hope people don’t just see him as an ex-boyfriend of Ariana Grande. . . R.I.P Mac Miller. Don’t do drugs, kids.
“Fuck it, mask off” – Future, Mask Off
Don’t do drugs. Future’s influence on rap is something I probably cannot truly describe. From his cadence, to his subject matter, to his drug habits. He’s seen as a figurehead for toxic masculinity as well as someone hiding his some sad lines behind rattling hi-hats and neat beats. From autotuning his voice in the early years to collabing with Drake to give us a great time to be alive, to getting credited for being on Father Stretch My Hand pt 2, Future proved himself a staple in 2010s rap. It was hard to NOT hear him this past decade. . . Wait, that wasn’t Future on FSMH? He- . . .who? Desiigner? What?
“This ain’t a fucking sing-a-long” – The Weeknd, Crew Love
The Weeknd gave his song to Drake for Take Care, but everyone fucking knows this is a Weeknd song ft. Drake. The Trilogy was some of his best work, and there some type of beauty in his tracks. It’s an R&B dude, but his lyrics aren’t soft. He’s talking about railing chicks and cocaine and shit. None of that between-the-sheets beauty. He’s fucking women on that island they got in their kitchens. And yet, he managed to break into the MAIN-mainsteam, getting kid awards for his drug songs. When will they learn, this ain’t a fucking sing-a-long.
“We don’t do the same drugs no more.” – Chance the Rapper, Same Drugs
Originally, I picked the opening bars form Pusha Man off Acid Rap. It’s one of my favorite projects from the 2010s (Can you tell I post on hiphopheads? Wanna watch this video essay on Tyler, the Creator and then bump some Griselda?) but, I think Same Durgs is a great metaphor. Chance talks about living a different life than an old friend, but it applies to some of his listeners. Many of us loved 10 Days and Acid Rap. But Chance can’t be that forever. He grew up from the kid who got suspended for 2 weeks. For as much as I don’t like The Big Day, he sounds happier. Plus, I’m not forced to listen to him.
“Mitch caught a body about a week ago” – Bobby Shurmda, Hot N---a
So, Bobby wasn’t the first, nor the last, but he’s a great example of this distinct trend in rap. Guy puts out song and blows up for it. I’m talking this shit goes viral. Music video is him and the homies. He’s talking about girls, women, cars, clothes, . . . oh yeah, and his crimes. Cops pull up, and they lock him up. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C is just going to be a song and not lead to an album. Bobby took a plea deal and after gracing us with the Shmoney Dance, was held up in Riker’s for the rest of the 2010s. This line, and others, were used against him and his team. Fun fact: this was one of the things I remember before it got big. A few friends of friends were sharing the music video via FaceBook, and I never guessed it would’ve blown up more than the other rising rappers I watched. Also, shout out to Bobby for dancing better than the women in his Bobby Bitch Music video.
“These bitches love Sosa.” – Chief Keef, Love Sosa
This one I was late on. I didn’t hear Chief Keef until Mr. West put out the remix to Don’t Like. But you can bet your ass I heard his influence on rap this decade. Drill music was what all the kids wanted to hear. And I’ll admit, my best friend and I loved seeing kids our age making music. Joey dropped 1999, Chief Keef was half naked and toting guns, it was crazy seeing people who not only looked like me blowing up, but who were around my age. Keef’s attitude would help push rap into a sound for the mid 10s and is still being heard today.
“Who put this shit together? I'm the glue” – Travis Scott, Sicko Mode
La Flame provided a good spark for music this decade. I’d argue he has his own lane in rap, mostly centered around his sound, but the sound is gonna get tired one day. . . and that day ain’t tomorrow, that’s for sure. With three solid projects, including the long awaited Astroworld, Travis has achieved what many dreamed of: Being on pre-game playlists for both white AND black people.
“Twenty-plus years of selling Johnson & Johnson/I started out as a baby-faced monsteNo wonder there's diaper rash on my conscience/My teething ring was numbed by the nonsense” – Pusha T, Nosetalgia
The past decade has given Push a chance to showcase that he is more than a duo-rapper. Good mixtapes, great albums, and a few nice slaps in the face of certain rappers. He raps about many topics, despite the memes about him only rapping about coke (although he still raps about it). Thank God for all the great music. Everything is Pusha T.
“Influenced by Houston, hear it in my music/A trill n---a to the truest, show you how to do this” – ASAP Rocky, Palace
He bes that pretty motherfucker, repping Harlem while experimenting with different sounds in his raps. Making strong strides at all points of the 2010s, Rocky proved his staying power in hip hop and in fashion. Although he got a cocky attitude, he isn’t afraid to shed light on what hurts him. Keep making music, Rocky, and I pray you find peace with all those around him who passed away.
“I ain’t sorry” – Beyonce, Sorry AND “Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cuz I slay” – Beyonce, Formation
Who wants that perfect love story anyway? Sucks when you eat some of your words as Queen B, BUT, Beyonce is more than a cheated-on wife of a rapper. She’s her own person, her own icon, and despite the terrorizing fanbase, she’s a role model to many fans and other artists. This decade saw a rise in people fighting back against bigotry, and while she’s no Harriet Tubman, Beyonce carries herself with some respect, enough to be a dominant figure in black culture and sisterhood. Mad about the double feature? Oh well. Queen B can’t trip up
“Much cooler than the cool kids. Can you believe every night we do this?” – Swae Lee of Rae Sremmurd, Powerglide
The pre-games have never been the same. Two young brothers hit the scene mid 2010s and boy, has America loved ~Swae Lee~ these two. Perhaps not Black Beatles, but much more than “new age Kris Kross.” I must say though, bad bitches ARE a type.
“Name a n---a that want some, I’ll out-rap his ass, out-trap his ass” – 2 Chainz, No Lie
From Tity Boi to 2 Chainz, this dude managed to redebuted himself under a more advertisement friendly name (take notes, Mr. eXquire). And now, he don’t need Wayne pouring out his soul on a chorus to be remembered. I will say, revisit all his features from the past decade. I wanted to use one of them as a quote.
“Came out of jail and went straight to the top” – Gucci Mane, I Get The Bag
Gucci’s home and it’s over for your Gucci clones. As you can tell, loads of people on this list influenced the rap playground this past decade, with Gucci doing the same. East Atlanta Santa spent years in jail (hasn’t stopped him for rapping) and came out a new man, or at least, a man running up the charts. He definitely running now that his lean belly is gone.
“Real n---a's dreams coming to fruition. Stumble but I never fall, leaning on my pistol” – Rick Ross, 3 Kings
Fat jokes from the early 10s aside, Ross really played a good role in rap music. BMF was big, I remember Diddy comparing him to Biggie ( yep ) and he always came through with good tracks. . . but then he rapped about drugging women. And on a lesser note, “Reeboks, I just do it,” is a weird fuck up, man.
I got a lot but want a lot more, yeah, we in the building, but I'm tryna take it to the top floor” – Big Sean, IDWFU
A strong player in terms of popularity, Detroit’s biggest ass-man was able to give us quotables and showed some softer edges on tracks about family or being single.
“One's for the money, two for the bitches, three to get ready cuz I feel I finally did it” – ScHoolboy Q, Blessed
TDE is more tHan Kendrick. In fact, tHere’s many well versed rappers in the crew, and ScHoolboy Q managed to pusH Himself more into the spotligHt. Now, He needs drop a collab witH Rocky, because Hands of the WHeel is STILL my most played track.
“Always be a real n---a, I never learned how to be nothin' but a real n---a” – The Game, 100
Can you believe Born 2 Rap is his last album? After all these years, and here it is: The Game’s last project. And still, people say he name drops too much, but at least he’s in on the joke.
“Free the Carter, n---as need the Carter” – Lil Wayne, No Problems
This is cheating, as this is a guest verse and NOT a Wayne song, but it is important. After bad business tactics and after putting an end to stuntin like his daddy, it took Wayne years to finally have Tha Carter V get released. Goes to show that sometimes, it’s really the ones close to you that fuck you over. Top ten hip hop betrayals of all time. . .
“I ain't never need a man to take care of me” – Nicki Minaj, Truffle Butter
Hot take: Nicki gets a lot of underserved hate, or at least, misdirected hate. She definitely deserves bad looks for some of her antics, or her support (lack of calling-out) of sexual deviant, but at the end of the day, she truly made some great songs. There’s a ton of pop shit, but let’s not undersell her role in the game. Also. . . obviously. . . That fucking verse on Kanye’s Monster. I made the argument in a Daily Discussion thread before but. . . HOT TAKE: Nicki’s verse on Monster is a top 5 verse of all time in rap, fuck you. While Wayne helped take her to the top, for her to stay relevant and to still sell records for the whole decade on her own is a great feat.
“Ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me” – The Throne, N---as in Paris
Yep, Jay and Kanye get a second line here. Watch the Throne is debated about being a classic or not. My take: Whether you like it or not, this album is iconic for its influence, or at least, how many people referenced watching the throne all these years after. Collab albums are not new. Collab albums with Jay Z are not new. Some are loved), some want to be forgotten) but, it’s not everyday when Kanye can team up with his big brother. Well, at least it’s not happening these days. But for the moment, it was dope watching the throne get in their zone.
“Do it for the culture, They gon’ bite like vultures” – Quavo of Migos, T-Shirt
Expecting a list of adlibs, right? Rap’s favorite triplet done flowed their way to the top. Constantly in people’s playlist, it took one rain drop, drop top, and the boys hit #1 on the charts, plus they’re hit day time television. Argue who’s the best, since it feels like the general consensus shifts around too much. It was Quavo when he was doing hooks and features, Offset when they hit #1, and now Takeoff for laying in the cut and always coming through.
“You say no to ratchet pussy, Juicy J can’t” – Juicy J, Bandz A Make Her Dance
Someone whose influence I think was overlooked a bit in the 10s. Three 6 Mafia’s legacy was proven this decade through samples, interpolates, and features. However, Juicy J shone in a lot of places, such as here, spitting one of my most quoted lyrics of the past few years.
“Me to rap is like water to raves” – Danny Brown, XXX
You know how people go out, party, drink, and turn their noses to water when water is gonna be the thing helping their asses? Yeah, that’s Danny. People hear the voice and instantly turn it off, but we need some straying from the norm. Also, his music ain’t that out there. It’s not like Death Grips. Plus, ignoring Danny means you’ll miss out on the best verse on 1Train. Yeah, I said it.
“ “Man, why does every black actor gotta rap some?” I don't know, all I know is I'm the best one” – Childish Gambino, Bonfire
He grew up past the mixtape era of strong puns and punchlines. He also survived a hard rating on some of his early works. Because the Internet was dope and good lord Awaken My Love was beautiful. A talented man who can seemingly do it all. To be a bit controversial, I see him as this generation’s Jamie Foxx. Sue me.
“Push me to the edge, all my friends are dead” – Lil Uzi Vert, XO TOUR Llif3
A figure in emo rap for all teens to look up to, Uzi was one of the artists to help push the genre in the last half of the decade, to the point where old heads got all sensitive about mumble rap. Who knew rapping about depression, sex, and suicide would top the charts?
“ Hopped up in my car Swag! then I drop my roof Swag! Wet like wonton soup. That's just how I do Swag!” – Lil B, Wonton Soup
Yep. Closing this out with Lil B. The exit is over here This decade, the internet went mainstream. As in, no longer was it something to do when you’re bored with TV or the PS3/Xbox/Wii. This decade, every day we’re using the internet, with several different social media accounts, blogs, news, etc. Videos of incidents are seen in an instant. At the very beginning of the 2010s, a young Brandon was blowing up on everyone’s radar. He was on WorldStar cooking, he was putting curses on KD (which actually worked), he’s been beefing with rappers and athletes, he’s been pissing of Myke C-Town, he’s been posting on Reddit, he was feature on Lil Wayne mixtapes, he’s been dropping his own mixtapes like a maniac, hopping on songs with Mac & Gucci & 40, he’s been creating memes before your mom knew what a meme was, etc. Him and Budden did what would become the norm before the norm became what it is now. Crazy to think. But yes, Lil B is getting recognition for his work. Based God truly came out and showcased what meme culture would bec-
What now? . . . whoa, whoa whoa. . . Jay Electronica dropping his album?! Woah
Well, that’s the list. Tell me who I missed. Ask me why there’s no Post Malone. Post better lines than the ones mentioned here.
Honorable Mentions:
Kendrick’s Control Verse
The real hot take here: Kendrick’s verse on Big Sean’s Control only an honorable mention? He called out his contemporaries and made it clear: He’s gunning for number one. It’s a good verse and it’s even better that he called people out by name, but most of the list are people he’s cool with.
“My parents’ were making the best when they were naked in bed” – Joey Badass,
I really want Joey to be better remembered. I really wanted to include him in the main list. He’s actually in my top 5 of the decade.
“As a kid all I wanted was to kill a man” – Vince Staples, Nate
“Don’t ever say that my music sounds like Ghost’s shit” – Action Bronson, Ron Simmons
Here’s a link to that famous thread
“I was good on my own, that’s the way it was” – Rihanna, Needed Me
Looking at her resume, Rihanna has a strong career for 2010 alone. Dance songs, pop songs, a dancehall(ish) track, rappers as features, features as rappers. Call her a bad bitch, a savage, just remember the game needs her. At least, her fans are begging four another album after the four year drought, so we need her to drop one more time
“Live fast, die young, Bad girls do it well,” – MIA, Bad Girls
How the fuck y’all let this track NOT win video of the decade?
“Is it homophobic to only hook up with straight n---as? You know like closet n---as, masc-type? Why don't you take that mask off? That's the thought I had last night” – Kevin Abstract of BrockHampton, Junky
“Don’t” – Bryson Tiller, Don’t
“Fuck your publication that say I'm a third wheel” – Flatbush Zombies, Palm Trees
“Might move away one day but I'm always gonna belong to the streets” – Freddie Gibbs, Thuggin
“By the beer, by ear, by boo what Yari saying?” – Isaiah Rashad, 4r Da Squaw
“Such a lost boy, caught up in the darkest I had. What's the cost, boy? Losing everything that I had” – Kid Cudi, 4th Dimension
The original sad boi, the original “emo rap”. Shout out to his comparison of himself to an orgasm.
“K to the I to the N to the G/Claim you the hottest, but I disagree” – Denzel Curry, Ultimate
Denzel is better than the memes from this track.
“I don’t dance now, I make money moves” – Cardi B, Bodak Yellow
Cardi made big moves in the second half of the decade, arguably enough to be above HMs. She’s more than the one hit wonder many detracts tried to pin her as. If she started a year earlier, she’d be up there. I really want her to strive in the 2020s as well.
“Better recognize when I see you” – PARTYNEXTDOOR, Recognize
“Kinda silly though, but I'm lyrical, Bet I put him in the dirt with the penny loafs” – A$AP Ferg, Work Remix
“I bet I make you respect me, when you see the man dem are selling out Wembley” – Skepta, Shutdown
“Me, I try to leave the best for later, But Pusha tried to put me on the respirator” – Pharrell,
“They don't make 'em bar none, they don't make 'em real, they don't make it where I'm from, they don't take it here” – Nipsey Hussle, Victory Lap
R.I.P. Nipsey
EDIT: I dun fucked up, and totally forgot Young Thug, who played a big part in the decade more than half this damn list. Please, share your favorite Thugger lines, I personally like his feature on Sacrifices the most but that’s not his own track.
Also, the obvious fuck up: Fuck Donald Trump.
submitted by MC_Fuzzy to hiphopheads [link] [comments]

I'mma head out

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Pit: Book 1 - Episode 10 part 2

Not slowing my momentum, my head whips around to see John coming at me, screaming, with his hand cocked backward for a punch , long in advance of reaching me, before he throws his readied punch, I swing my right arm, in a roundhouse arc, landing a closed fist , with all of my body weight behind it straight into his throat. A torrent of blood spews from his mouth , covering me, and as he starts to sink down, I toss another blow to the back of his neck, snapping the spine, before bringing my hands up in a defensive position.
This is all seeming so natural, more like a dance than a fight, I wouldn’t say instinct is taking over, but I guess along with the ability to talk, and remember stupid minutia, fighting, is something the voice couldn’t take away from me.
Mary follows quickly behind her husband, but is thrown to the ground as Walter, uses her as a springboard, to launch an airborne attack on me. There is no skill in what I do, simply a straight strike forward and walter stops in mid air, his chest caved in, as a dry heave wracks my body. I kick the corpse away, not out of any sense of malice, or need to intimidate, but rather, just so I don’t have to see it.
I feel arms around me from behind and I am embraced in a tight bear hug, by the size of the arms, I can guess it is Abe. I thrash around, but it seems whatever made him fresh as a daisy after having his jaw shattered, also amped up his strength, now it’s him who has the slight, but noticeable strength advantage.
I feel teeth, too large, sharp , dig into my shoulder, I scream in pain, and toss my head backward slamming it , again and again into Abe’s face, I manage to keep him off balance enough that we are moving around the room, keeping the others from being able to get in a clear shot, but with every twist and turn, I can feel a bit more blood pouring down my chest.
And then everything seems to go silent, my rage, and fear, and disgust at my own actions goes away for the moment, and I have a sense of peace. Well, peace isn’t really the best word, but calm. I hear a voice, not the voice from the loudspeakers, but a soft male voice, with just a hint of feminine, or maybe fop, would be a better word. It says two words to me, “ Sonny Chiba.”, I don’t know what they mean, my first mental image is some island resort, but it puts another idea into my head at the same time.
With a mental snap the calm is gone, but the idea remains. Instead of trying to free my arms, I reach them down low, grabbing ahold of Abe’s oversized, and deformed genitalia, and twisting , squeezing, and tearing with all my might.
A finger, can be ignored by these people, having one’s Johnson, stones, and much of the surrounding skin removed, cannot. I file this piece of information away, as I feel the arms leave my body.
I spin around as I see Abe screaming and holding the spurting area of his groin, I waste no time leveling a kick at one knee, that brings him to the ground, and stamping with every bit of force I can muster on his face, I do this two more times before the indent is deep enough that I can be assured that he is not getting up.
Bruce and Charlie are both upon me now, and a series of blows are exchanged between the three of us. I land a few solid hits, knocking one back, then the other, but my own body suffers, I feel a kick connect with my face, my nose now spewing blood, and a fist, whether left or right, I don’t know, hits my eye, a few moments later I can feel it start to swell.
I back off a bit, Bruce and Charlie working much better in tandem than their young counterparts. My heel hits something, heavy , and about the size of a small melon. I look down and see a chunk of cinderblock, on the ground. With one foot I send it into the air, straight upwards. I snatch the rock with my right arm and fire it at Charlie, the throw is true, and half of his head caves in. Grey matter and stuff I can’t even recognize spews forth and he hits the ground. Bruce screams “ Chuck!” as he charges at me, this time I don’t throw a blow, I simply grab the man by the remaining bits of his shirt and spin him around once, lifting him up a bit , I throw him, head first into the solid cement wall feet from the girl. His head evaporates, showering her with gore.
It is just me and mary now, she sways from side to side giggling slightly as she starts to wander toward the girl, not even seeming to notice me. She doesn’t react as I walk over, and she doesn’t utter a noise, nor try any kind of defense as I step behind her, extend the middle two fingers of my right hand, and drive a straight punch into her spine hard enough to sever it cleanly, she drops, and anti climactically the fight is ended.
The lights click on with a bit of effort on their part, flickering slightly before finally casting a harsh white light on what looks like a slaughterhouse at the end of the workday. I start to breathe a little easier and look around expecting some new surprise , but after a minute or two I hear the background noise of speakers , and seconds after that I hear the voice again.
“Well, bravo son, bra-fuckin-vo. I bet that put some hair on your chest, now didn’t it? Boy, that was some killin right there.” He says, his tone is somewhat gleeful, but, moreso relieved for some reason. “ It weren’t that hard now was it , boy?” he says as I start to make my way over to the girl, I start to undo a knot, and he begins to speak again, “ But I got some bad news for ya, something your probably not gonna take a shine to. “ from within the stone walls I hear something, almost like someone tipping over a metal shelf full of cans.
“ Ya see, I give you respect for getting this far, I really do. But problem is, it takes a little more killin to put these fellas to rest, I know it’s a crying shame, I havn’t seen a dust up like that in years, but it just weren’t good enough. Weren’t thorough, enough ya could say.” He says thorough in the same way some people drive a car they aren’t used to. Carefully, but despite this, poorly.
Another metallic avalanche sound, from within the walls, and it sounds like it is getting closer.
“ Ya gotta squash em like bugs boy.”
The metallic sound gets closer, and another sound I don’t like creeps into the auditory scene, a familiar meaty rustling and sliding sound, I start to feel panic rise in me, as the voice continues his speech.
“But I ain a complete asshole, no not by a long shot, ya see, you showed me you could job the job, so lets see what ya do with the right tool.” He laughs a bit as the speakers cut out again, and in small bursts of stone, doors explode open, and as they do a torrent of weaponry starts to fall like confetti at the worlds strangest parade.
The lights flicker a bit, some turning off, casting strange shadows about the room, the girl is screaming now, loud enough that you can hear it clearly through the gag.
I look around and see only two weapons took a bounce lucky enough to land within reach. 6 foot length of chain covered in blades, barbs and hooks of all kinds. I tear off the rags of my shirt, covering my left hand, then I bind that with the chain, the weight stirs something inside of me, as I squeeze my hand around the improvised buckler, I feel a rush, something inside me feels giddy. I find myself fighting the urge to smile as I hear the corpses, (or is that even the right term?) of the people I have harmed, then killed, in that order, reassemble into some freakish new arrangement, so that I can kill them for the second time.
The other weapon was a two foot length of piping, long spikes coming from one end, and a blade welded to the tip, its heavy, and the handle is wrapped in some kind of tape, I swing with it and I feel a chuckle start to rise, its insane, I am outnumber by things that just won’t die, but something inside me loves it. Something inside me wants them to come back again and again until I fill the room with their blood and drown.
The first to rise is John, this time seems to be taking a bit more effort for my temporary roommates, but that is allright with me. Now he barely resembles anything human, his head moves about on wrinkled mass of skin that was his neck, extending and contracting as he walks over to me, not in a berserk rage this time, but with cold calculated movements, snakelike. He is armed with a cleaver which he takes the time to admire once during his advance, and a can of some form in his left.
I want this over as quickly as possible and run in , taking a swing with the pipe at the last moment, hoping to stop this all right off the bat with a well placed blow to the head. He doesn’t raise the knife, like I expected, but rather the can and with a hissing noise, and a rush of heat I am driven backward, a gout of flame erupting from the device, and scorching, if not seriously wounding me.
But that was only due to getting a momentary burst, I fall backwards, landing heavily on my ass, and do a full somersault to land in a crouch just out of reach of the flames. I skitter behind a pillar, and scan the area.
Scan it just slow enough to miss Abe standing there, holding two machetes. The only thing I see is a blur of motion, so I throw myself backwards with it, and manage to get the pipe up just in time to put something between the blades and my flesh.
Abe, Abe, was a caricature strong man, all giant bulging muscles, and thick black hair. His clothing had mostly torn away by now, leaving only blood soaked shorts, with some fingered appendage that used to be his Johnson hanging from them.
His entire head was one gaping maw, the exact indentation I had put in his face, damn near through the back of his skull had became a tooth filled cavern, with 6 malicious eyes staring from the back.
“Fuck!” I scream in shock, both at the strike and the sheer deformity of whatever it is now, that used to be called Abe.
Metal on metal grinding, pieces of razor sharp steel fling off of the twin swords, but neither of us care about such small wounds. This is a greater game we are playing.
And with that thought something , turns over, inside of me. That giddiness, that battle-lust, I need it, it isn’t just some psychological mechanism to deal with this absurd situation, there is something there, something that I am not going to win this without.
It doesn’t feel so much as giving in, that would be entirely misclassifying the process. The closest I can come, is the feeling after you have been cutting your food with a dull knife for years, squashing every tomato, making balls of all your bread, slicing your fingers, and then someone sharpens them for you. Just that, almost eureka moment of “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”.
I scream , raising my chain and cloth covered left arm, and managing to wedge it , as well as the pipe between my body and his weapons. And with a scream that could be better called a roar, I shove forward. For a moment it doesn’t feel like he is going to movie, but the swords slip, and I find myself able to spin and face him.
My mind feels muddled, like oil and water, one moment I am thinking only of the soft parts of its body I can jam the spikes on the pipe, the next I am thinking of I am trapped, and being forced to kill people. Then I am thinking of how great it is to be trapped here , like the minotaur in a maze, with an endless supply of foes to fight, then I think…
As my mind has a break down, Abe, (though now the name I think of is “cunt face” for obvious reasons) roars a phlem choked, warbling scream and kicks out, catching me square in the chest, the slam against the wall brings me back to my senses, I raise to my feet by throwing my body forward, and am standing in an instant, breathing heavily and grinning like a crocodile.
“No fair” I say sprinting toward the beast, leaping over a steel box, that once housed weaponry made by an undoubtedly insane son of a bitch.
He raises a machete to block my first blow, but the pipe shatters the flimsy blade, and on the backswing I knock the other sailing across the room. I give him no time to react, and throw a mailed left fist into the vaginal orifice that is now his head. I don’t go all the way through, but I do a good job of starting the task, yellow triangular teeth shatter, and I feel a burst of liquid, that was 2 of his six eyes popping like grapes. I bark out a laugh and withdraw my hand as quickly as my body can, wanting to get in another strike, to watch this thing, this mockery splatter.
I see something out of the corner of my eye and hit the ground, the room is deafening with the crack of gunfire, I see Abe’s half todger, half arm explode into red mist, and a chunk of cement the size of a basketball explodes a foot to my left.
Abe screams in rage as I look to my right to see Bruce and Charlie, holding the massive, custom pistols I have seen before.
Charlie’s head now seemed to be two long, thin , smaller heads, both with a complete set of features, but arranged in an odd, seemingly jury rigged fashion. Bruce on the other hand, his body must have decided to do away with the whole head idea all together. His shoulders and arms had became huge, and a large face made its home between the two.
I throw the pipe at Abe, the spinning arcing shot wedging it deep within that orifice that nature forgot, and hopefully taking out another eye or two.
I dash behind pillars as I see chunks of cement spray, sometimes just inches off of their mark. I don’t have time to scan the ground, and all the weapons seem to be indistinct lumps, taking the time to pick up something that may not help does not seem the best choice in my situation.
Instead I grab one of the steel boxes, hits heavy, weighted oddly, and perfect for what this almost reptilian part of my mind has in store for Bruce and Chuck.
As I pop out from behind the final pillar, no more than 15 feet from them, I throw the steel box, putting as much spin as I possibly can on it. It flies in an erratic, swirling, looping pattern, making a visual block, and hitting Charlie hard enough to knock the gun from his hand, Bruce is stunned enough, that before he can react to the steel box, I am upon him , I tear the gun from his massive hand with two of mine, grab the grip, and drive it into his eye. Part of me would have pulled the trigger, but that odd part, that part that seemed to be waiting for this, found the fact that he had his own weapon, a blunt weapon, jammed in his eye, terribly amusing, and didn’t want that to stop. A bark of laughter and I shove past Bruce.
Unfortunately one head of Chuck’s was smart enough to keep an eye out while he looked on the ground for another weapon. He raises quicker that I could have thought, and is brandishing an axe handle studded with sharp looking blades, about 3 inches long. He takes a swing and I raise my left hand, the blow numbs the arm, and drives me backward, but does no real damage.
But the strength he possessed, it seems every time I kill them, they get much stronger, if I let this go on to long, they will win the war of attrition.
And this is a thought I scream from the rational part of my mind, the problem with trying out this great new tool, is that it seems the tool doesn’t want to be put away. And instead of just getting this over with , it wants to play, it wants to take the time to plan out a death, when really, speed is what is required.
He presses forward and swings again, I aim my blow at the axe handle, snapping cleanly through it with my left hand, the right grabs hold of the left head on Chuck, and with two tugs tears it free. Chuck screams and hysterically flails backward.
Bruce on the other hand has gotten over the shock of having a pistol jammed into one of his massive eye, and is coming at me with a large sledgehammer with a dark black handle. No time to react, no time to dodge, I toss his brothers head at him, in a vein attempt to distract him, but I guess that kind of thing only works if the head in question belongs to someone who is dead. As odd as that phrase sounds.
I step into the blow, taking a lot of the sting out of it, but it still manages to slam me into a wall, knock the wind out of me, and send me into a coughing fit that leaves me open for the next error in this comedy.
Enter the children.
I stumble out of the way of the swinging hammer, and just as I begin to be able to get my wind back, I see something out of the corner of my eye.
Its Tim, a horrible mass of twisting limbs with a thin blob of formless flesh in the middle holding it all together, if this image conjures up a creature that seems pathetic, that is because it was, but that did nothing to detract from the wicked speed, or razor talons of the thing.
A scream, and I lash out with a fist, the child doesn’t dodge, doesn’t duck, doesn’t strike back, but with a movement so fast I can’t say I witnessed it in it’s entirety , it grabs on and begins to climb up my left arm. By the time the swing is finished it has made its way to the shoulder.
I thrust myself backward, but in the chaos I only just now realize that there is no wall behind me, for a moment my arms are pinwheeling, trying to keep balance. Then I see long thin spikes start to extrude from the parts of the blob closest to me, thin deadman grips hold onto my shoulder as the creature tries to force the wicked little barbs into my face.
Suddenly I feel antsy, and I don’t think, I just do. I slam my right hand into the thing over and over again, heedless of the puncture wounds , I manage to get a weak grip on it with my left, pulling the spikes up and away from my face, what I was staring at was its underbelly, and what was staring back at me was the twisted, yellow eyed, fang mouthed face , that used to be Tim.
But I wasn’t thinking of who this used to be, I wasn’t thinking at all. In my rage, my glee, my fun, I thrust my head forward, tearing a bite out of the thing that removed two eyes, part of a lip and left a gaping wound.
With a rather pathetic snarl it tries to scurry down my arm, but wounded now, some of its greased eel speed is gone. And my own is more than a match for the insect.
My right hand grabs a hold of a mass of the flesh , and takes a few nasty scrapes , from lashing multi jointed limbs for the effort. I hold the creature, maybe 90 pounds, but fighting with the strength of ten men in my right hand, with my left I start to pummel it, I am screaming, all of the frustration, all the horror, I let out into this assault. With every chain wrapped blow the creature starts to thrash a bit less, and by the time the sixth has landed, you can no longer see the sickly white flesh, only blood that seems to have a slight tint of yellow to it. By the 8th my mailed fist hits my hand and I cast the mass, in the general direction of Chuck and Bruce.
What happened next cut straight through to that human part of me. They looked at it with sorrow. It was clear even on their alien, distorted faces. That this hurt them, they turned upon me in unison, and I smiled, no use trying to be diplomatic now.
I bend down and pick up a piece of stone, about half the size of the fist and I take aim at the last vestage of that middle blob of flesh that remained, a roundish lump in the middle, that I could only assume housed all the really vital bits, as it was still wriggling a bit toward the end.
I catch their attention with the rock and point at the creature, three for three throws, as it splatters the roundish lump into pulp and streamers of flesh.
What happened next cut straight through to that other part of me, it looked at it with glee, and rejoiced in such a gift. And this was clear even through the alien, distorted thoughts.
After a few moments the body began to twitch violently, the limbs and bits of wriggling flesh that remained , that is. And just about as all three of us noticed this, the thing exploded, completely and utterly.
Even that is a world class understatement. The explosion wasn’t just everything that was there, it was things that weren’t. From that 90 pounds, the blood , viscera , bone fragments, and organ meat of 3 , maybe as many as 6 men erupted, in a spray of gore and slightly black light. The floor was instantly slick and it doesn’t even need to be mentioned that the girl was covered, and in hysterics that I thought very well may kill her due to this.
This caused all of the creatures to scream at once, a shrill terrible song, coming from the mouths of 6 twisted beasts.
My heart leapt, I killed one of them. It was obvious, nothing is going to come back from that, there is nothing to come back. The biggest chunk of bone being no more than the size of a fingernail. I screamed again, my body seeming to be rejuvenated, though obviously, as per the bleeding wounds I had covering my arms and chest, this was just a mental state, rather than a physical one.
I feel invincible though, I feel powerful, I feel like the king of this concrete jungle, or rather, if I was to put a more accurate spin on events, I could say I feel like the nastiest creature in the zoo.
“ Abe!” I roar, twisting my head around wildly, heedless of the other abominations. With a liquid scream he springs from behind a pillar, wielding a wood axe, with what appears to be a mace head on the bottom of the handle.
He fixes me with the remaining 4 eyes , gleaming a menacing red light. I grab the axe in both hands, it took all my effort, but I stopped it dead, still a foot from my face, Abe digs in and starts to push toward me, but we have played this game before, and I know that I can win.
Instead of pushing back, I fall backward, curling my body in as I grip the axe hard enough to leave shallow indents in the hardwood handle. Overbalanced, he falls directly into the throw, and by the time he realizes his few hundred pounds of bulk are moving, he is on an unstoppable course for the nearest wall. A 10 foot flight sends him into it with enough force to knock the axe spinning across the floor. He seems dazed, and as I walk over I spy a rather nasty looking steel baseball bat, studded with nails as long as fresh pencils.
He begins to stand , shaking off the shock, but much too late. The first swing, upward, more like a golf swing than a baseball one, tears a quarter of his grotesque face away, and forces him roughly to his feet. The second, swung in true grand slam fashion blasts a hole halfway through his chest, his massive, tumorous heart, impaled, and still beating on the end of the bat. By this point Abe had mustered enough of a defense to sneak in a wild, two handed swing, that imbeds the bat in his arm, but also snatches it from my grip.
He takes a stumbling step forward, and something catches my attention, my head snaps to it out of some deep reflex, I have just enough time to notice it is Walter, much more recognizable than his brother, but with a set of extra arms extending just below his elbows.
Before he ends his squeaking, ratlike battlecry , I raise one foot, high, and send it down, he tries to escape, but the power, and the speed get him no farther than only having his head and shoulders turned to pulp. I unfurl the chain sending it into Abe’s face, the snap does no real damage, only knocking out a few teeth, but makes him back off enough , that I can get in a second stomp, to describe the pile of gore that once was Walter would do no good, except to say that at first glance one probably wouldn’t associate it with a body, until they got to the legs. I raise my leg for a third stomp, not wanting to take any chances, and that wondrous explosion, that firework of gore, catches me unaware.
I find out that there is not much force behind the gore, a lot of amount, and spray, but the explosion itself had little ‘oomph’ to it. I reset my right foot as I hear the blood and god knows what else drip off of me onto the ground.
I shake my head to the right, clearing my vision a bit, as I yank the chain backward, grabbing it in a looser grip, simply wrapping it around one hand, more like brass knuckles than a buckler. The action sends a spray of blood, now almost completely covering all of the floor to some point, across the room in an almost artistic slash pattern. I stalk toward Abe, who seems to be breathing very heavily, the gaping wound in his chest making a sucking noise as he does so, spurting that just off blood colored blood in a regular rhythm.
I dash at him, but showing that I am not the only one with speed and strength, he strikes out, grabbing me by the back of the head, and trying to pull me toward that damaged, but still quite dangerous looking maw of his. I wedge my right arm on his chest, my forearm keeping distance between us, but almost immediately I can feel the pressure, and the pain this is causing. My wrist is screaming and there is a dull, almost numb pain in the middle of my forearm, which I can assume means nothing good.
But this is only a slight variation on my original plan, and I go with it. I smash the wound again and again with my left hand, the chain tearing it wider and wider with each shot. When I can get my entire hand, chain and all into it, I push it downwards. A torrent of blood and vomit comes from the clicking, foul maw, blinding me. I hear Abe laughing as I twist and turn my hand, entangling the chain in entrails that actually feel like they are fighting back, trying to choke and jab my hand.
I try and force my eyes open, but it is no use, this shit is thick, and stinging, not acidic enough to eat through skin, but my eyes scream at the hint of it. The smell sends a dry heave through me that almost costs me this grapple, but it passes, and it still seems to Abe as if we have a Mexican standoff.
When I can feel the chain hooked to the point where it doesn’t want to move, I throw up my right foot, bracing against Abe’s chest, I push backward, and turn my body. For a moment he thinks he has won, as there is no more resistance , but the chain pulls tight against my shoulder, digging a few hooks and barbs into it, and as I spin, the chain inside the beast, hooked onto so many important things, in so many strange loops and knots, comes tearing out. The movement is quick, and has almost every muscle in my body working for it, in an instant the creature is empty, and even this thing, drops to its knees, quite literally. I throw a kick, it isn’t a hard target, and the generic black boot I am wearing (I notice that it seems just slightly too small for some reason.) sends his grey matter ( though the matter in question was actually a dark purple.) spraying in two thick streams.
. In contrast to the previous two creatures , Abe’s last hurrah, is almost instant, almost the second brain turns to liquid, his body turns to enough flesh to fill a van, spraying in every direction. The floor is now wet and uneven with gore, like winter in hell.
With wet noises one would associate with mud if they have not just been made to become a human blender, I walk toward the group. John, Mary, Bruce and Chuck. Seeing Mary for the first time, she looks rather, normal compared to her counterparts, a little crazier than before, a little paler, more leathery, but pretty much human. Her red stained wedding dress hanging in tears and tatters around her.
They seem tentative now, like a group of bullies that just realized their intended victim has pulled a knife. That combination of indignation , fear and rage, that could end the fight, or lead to it getting much, much worse.
I am starting to flag at this point, my mind, feels invincible, I feel like throwing myself heedless info the fray, lashing out at any bit of flesh and bone I can, but as I realize that I am taking my breath in, in large gasps that seem to do little to satisfy my aching lungs, I can reason that this isn’t a good idea.
I need to find a way to draw them one by one, but with the limited space in the room, I can’t see how. And as they start to slowly, very slowly close the distance between me and themselves, the issue doesn’t become any more clear.
Then another one of those moments, like the world stops, that eerie mental calm, like suddenly floating in a warm bath after being tossed around in a tsunami, hits me. I hear another voice this time, and as I take the time to listen a bit more to the nuances, I realize it doesn’t sound as if the voice is talking to me, but rather like it is pre recorded. Like I am picking up on a bit of a recorded conversation, or reading a passage in a book, if that makes sense. This time though, the phrase is one that I can recognize, the voice is jovial, almost manic , “ Piss them off, the make a mistake, they make a mistake, they die”.
And I take the advice to heart.
submitted by HughEhhoule to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]

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